20-11-2024, 10:30 AM
I see this thing as a little bit like a marriage where spouse A already owned a house before spouse A and spouse B got together. Then, subsequent to getting married, both spouses have done a huge amount of work improving the house and mortgage payments have come out of their joint account etc. A very significant portion of the current value of the house comes from spouse B's investment.
If spouse A keeps their prior ownership front & centre of the relationship, there will never be true unity in the marriage. For the marriage to truly prosper and flourish, it has to become "their" house, with spouse A's prior ownership becoming an interesting historical fact but no longer of current relevance. If, instead, spouse A wishes it to be continuously acknowledged, they will be instead forever just be awkward flatmates, with spouse B resenting the investment they've put in to "not their house".
Additional details to acknowledge:
- both spouse A and B were pretty nasty in the past and did horrible things to themselves and each other, however spouse B was able to do more harm purely due to being stronger (rather than due to worse intent). This is in no way justifiable but is in the past and must be forgiven if the marriage is to have any chance of success.
- Spouse A wasn't actually looking for a suitor at the time, however chose to marry spouse B so as to avoid a third person from muscling on in and just taking the house for themselves without bothering to marry spouse A. Not a great foundation for a marriage perhaps, but marriages of necessity can be still be successful.
- Divorce isn't an option in this scenario as all non-Maori in NZ can't just "go back where they came from".
If spouse A keeps their prior ownership front & centre of the relationship, there will never be true unity in the marriage. For the marriage to truly prosper and flourish, it has to become "their" house, with spouse A's prior ownership becoming an interesting historical fact but no longer of current relevance. If, instead, spouse A wishes it to be continuously acknowledged, they will be instead forever just be awkward flatmates, with spouse B resenting the investment they've put in to "not their house".
Additional details to acknowledge:
- both spouse A and B were pretty nasty in the past and did horrible things to themselves and each other, however spouse B was able to do more harm purely due to being stronger (rather than due to worse intent). This is in no way justifiable but is in the past and must be forgiven if the marriage is to have any chance of success.
- Spouse A wasn't actually looking for a suitor at the time, however chose to marry spouse B so as to avoid a third person from muscling on in and just taking the house for themselves without bothering to marry spouse A. Not a great foundation for a marriage perhaps, but marriages of necessity can be still be successful.
- Divorce isn't an option in this scenario as all non-Maori in NZ can't just "go back where they came from".