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Top 10 signs you're a Christian fundamentalist
#1
Top ten signs you’re a Christian fundamentalist


10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune (that means three in one) God.

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!


6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.
Thanks to www.EvilBible.com



Rolleyes Big Grin Big Grin
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
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#2
You must give the christians credit however for offering a money-back guarantee on all tithes and donations to any believer if heaven is found not to be exactly as described.

Careful!   Always remember that Heck is a place reserved for those who don't believe in Gosh.

Car dealers have expended a lot of effort trying to pedal a similar warranty but their lawyers regretfully advised them that requiring claimants to be deceased is going to be a bit difficult to insert into car warranties, what with consumer guarantees, fair trading acts, and the like.

Wink
Entropy is not what
it used to be.
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#3
That pretty ticks all those boxes being in the Jehovah's witnesses!
Unapologetic NZ first voter, white cis male, climate change skeptic.
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