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Jokes and Funnies...
#61
   
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#62
Time for some new jokes...

A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says "please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh,
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

2 guys walk into a bar. "Hey donkey get the beers in" shouts one guy to the other.

The barman says to the guy "That's a bit mean, why does he call you donkey?" and the man replies "It's OK, He aw... he aw.. he always calls me that"

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it...
Long

The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music coming from the grave.

Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening, "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate.

He stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven decomposing."
Be the kind of woman, that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil goes "oh crap, she's up".
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#63
(19-12-2021, 04:38 PM)crafters_corner Wrote:
(19-12-2021, 02:54 PM)Zurdo Wrote: [Image: fg7p0b4ucae8fj2-jpeg.3348462]
I still haven't quite mastered adding a pic, and it seems, I'm not the only one. Smile
Posting the file name of the pic, (or anything else), will result in the file name of that file being posted lol.  You need to have the   Pic, (or whatever), stored on the internet somewhere and then you copy the address of it, (from the addy bar at the top of your web page where it's displayed), and paste that .  That'll give you the picture HERE........

For example if you post this:

gradient-cartoon-doodle-picture-frame-creative-illustrated-147688760.jpg

that's all you get but if you post this:

https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/gradient...688760.jpg

You get  the picture............but you have to click the link to see it..........

You can also do 'insert an image' from the 'fuill edit' tool bar at the top of this box you're typing into...............

[Image: gradient-cartoon-doodle-picture-frame-cr...688760.jpg]
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#64
[Image: ?d=t&mt=login]    

Nup, still can't do it.

[img]www.istockphoto.com/photo/how-does-this-thing-work-gm857350214-141355061[/img]
Be the kind of woman, that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil goes "oh crap, she's up".
Reply
#65
www.istockphoto.com/photo/how-does-this-thing-work-gm857350214-141355061

Yeah thats odd it worked for me before.......hmm.......
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#66
Hair removal 101 ...God love the woman who shared this,,,,,,,

All hair removal methods have tricked us with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weekday night. Come home fix dinner, played with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: Maybe I should pull the wax out of the medicine cabinet. So I headed to the site of my demise; the bathroom. It was one of those cold wax kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand and then they get warm and you peel them apart press it to your leg (or wherever else) and hair comes right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean I'm no girly girl but I am mechanically inclined enough that I can figure it out. *YA THINK!!!*

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. Cold wax my rear end (Oh how this phrase haunts me!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. OK so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-ra, fighter of all wayward body hair and smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure I apply the was strip across the right side of bikini line, covering the right half of my vagina and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself.
RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half of the strip. S&%T!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP. Everything is swirly and spotted. Do I hear crashing drums??? OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - A wax covered strip with my hairy pelt, that has caused me so much pain, sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair.

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair..The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. S&%T I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...................remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet. I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DAMN!!!!!!!!
I hear the slamming of the cell door. Vagina? Sealed shut. Butt?? Sealed shut.


I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off" Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than then that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse that having your nether businesses glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub. In scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub!! God bless the man that convinced me I should have a phone in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend thinking surely she's waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter "So, my butt and who-ha are stuck to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't have a secret trick but does try to hide the laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located on bottom "Are we talking cheeks or hole or what?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies, covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I slip into glazed donut land.
My friend is still talking with me and my hand reaches towards the saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point. I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids, scared the dickens out of my friend, but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!! I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair..................................

THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......................ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
So I shaved it off. Heck, I'm numb at this point. Next week I'm going to try hair color......
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
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#67
lol
oh, the pain, the pain.
The indignity.
The pain. THE FKING PAIN!!!!
Be the kind of woman, that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil goes "oh crap, she's up".
Reply
#68
(02-01-2022, 05:47 PM)crafters_corner Wrote: lol
oh, the pain, the pain.
The indignity.
The pain. THE FKING PAIN!!!!

Hmmm the pain huh, you must know what your talking about?
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#69
Mrs. Rosentein is walking her poodle down 5th Avenue, when she ran into her good friend Gladys Goldberg
Long

"Gladys! It's been so long since I've last seen you, where have you been?"

"Oh, Blanche, Ira and I went on safari in Africa, and let me tell you, it was horrible!"

"Horrible? How was it horrible?"

"Well, first, Ira lost our tickets, so we had to fly coach all the way from New York to Africa! You know how I hate to fly, and to be stuck in those tiny seats, next to screaming babies the whole way!"

"Oh, that's awful!"

"But it gets worse! After we arrive at the airport, they pick us up in an old jeep that's falling apart, and it totally ruins my hair and makeup! I had a beautiful little safari outfit ready, but it was ruined!"

"Oh that's terrible!"

"Believe me, It get's worse! When we get to the safari camp, there's no cabins available, and we're expected to erect our own tents. After some fussing about, we finally get the tent erected, but Ira forgot the mosquito netting, so we got positively eaten alive by gigantic Nile mosquitos!"

"I can't even! That's terrifying!"

"But it get's worse! The next morning, we wake up, and eat a terrible breakfast of cold eggs and beans, then head off for our first day of the tour. We no sooner get into the darkest part of the jungle when the driver hits a rock and breaks the axle on his jeep, leaving us stranded!"

"Oh my goodness!"

"Oh, but it gets worse! Ira, being the bullheaded bastard he is, sets off back toward the camp, dragging me along, because I was not going to be left alone with a group of strangers. No sooner do we get a mile down the path when we're set upon by a tribe a of huge, horrible apes! Ira tries to defend me, but he's killed instantly!"

"You lost your dear Ira! This is the worst story I've ever heard!"

"Believe it or not, it gets worse! You see, the biggest ape took me into his personal harem, and he then began a months long campaign of ravaging me on a daily basis. He turned me into his literal sex slave, until he was through with me, and sent me back into civilization, naked and battered."

"Oh God! I can't imagine anything worse!"

"But it gets worse..." she said barely audible above the deep sobs which wracked her body.

"How could it possibly be worse than that?"

"He doesn't write! He doesn't call!"
Be the kind of woman, that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the devil goes "oh crap, she's up".
Reply
#70
Q. What did one butt cheek say to the other? 
A. Together, we can stop this shit.
Q. What kind of Bees produce milk? 
A. Boobees
Q. What did the penis say to the condom? 
A. Cover me, I’m going in
Q. What goes in hard and dry then comes out wet and soft? 
A. Chewing gum
Q. What do you do with a year’s worth of used condoms? 
A. Melt them into a tire and call it a goodyear.
Q. What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave? 
A. Thanks for coming!
Q. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? 
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How is a boyfriend/girlfriend like a laxative? 
A. They both irritate the shit out of you.
Q. What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom? 
A. Condoms have evolved: They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Q. What did the penis say to the vagina? A. Don’t make me come in there!
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#71
A few years ago [2018] was walking the pup [GS], on this particular route we passed by a Pre-School.

After a few passing's some of the kiddies would give us a wave, so this one morning a couple of them ran up to the fence with one stating "Look there's the Police Dog."
His mate  probably close to starting school replied " Nah that man is too old to be a Policeman." Huh
Too be honest I chuckled for the rest of that walk. Very pertinent observation on the older child's part.
 Often thought as the years pass by how that child got on at  school.
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#72
Fascinating Aida
Cheap flights

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAg0lUYHHFc
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
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#73
The Italian golfer

An 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'how do you stay in such great physical condition?'
I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says Russ, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'

"'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?


"Who said he was dead?"

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?'

'He's 100 years old,' says Russ. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.'

Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?'


'Who said my Nonno's dead?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?'

'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point,



'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?'
'No, Nonno couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'


At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
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#74
Might be inappropriate on this board but I just had to post it... \

Note the second headline banner 
Note the websites tagline

   


Nothing Toxic about that at all...
The world would be a perfect place, if it wasn't for the humans.

Electric Kiwi $50 credit | Sharesies | Buy Crypto | Surfshark VPN | Dropbox | Cloud Backup
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#75
(17-02-2022, 06:47 PM)king1 Wrote: Might be inappropriate on this board but I just had to post it... \

Note the second headline banner 
Note the websites tagline




Nothing Toxic about that at all...

Love it, joke of the week.
Scientific Fact:
People who have more birthdays live longer.
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#76
   
Reply
#77
(17-02-2022, 06:47 PM)king1 Wrote: Might be inappropriate on this board but I just had to post it... \

Note the second headline banner 
Note the websites tagline




Nothing Toxic about that at all...
Big Grin Big Grin Big Grin


Foot, shot in... Angel

Diary of a Pom in Western Australia

August 31

Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my new home. I love it here.

September 13

Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I’m turning into a sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!

September 30

Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another scorcher today, but I love it here. It’s Paradise!

October 10
The temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit. Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do. Got to respect the old sun in a climate like this!

October 20
Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I’ve learned my lesson though: no more pets in this heat.

October 25th
This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fu*king blow dryer. And it’s hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fu*king Perth ….The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30
The temperature’s up around 40 and the parts still haven’t arrived for the fu*king air conditioner. House is an oven so we’ve all been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can’t even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4
Finally got the fu*king air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35. Stupid repairman. Fu*king thief.

November 8
If one more smart bastard says ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I’m going to fu*king throttle him. Fu*king heat! By the time I get to work, the car radiator is boiling over, my fu*king clothes are soaking fu*king wet and I smell like baked cat. F*cking place is the end of the Earth.

November 9
Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my fu*king arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fu*king arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat. Fu*k. Fu*k. Fu*k.

November 10

The Weather report might as well be a ƒü*king recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and ƒü*king sunny. It never ƒü*king changes! It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 ƒü*king months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Ƒü*k !

November 15
Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn fu*king place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fu*king pool. The only things that thrive in this fucking hell-hole are the fu*king flies. You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the little bastards!

November 20
Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fu*kin’ degrees today. Now the air conditioner’s gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I wanted to shove the fu*king car up his fu*king arse. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the stupid prick. Fu*king Karratha! What kind of sick, demented fu*king idiot would want to live here!


WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are fu*king kidding me!

**

Dead politicians
A large jet plane carrying several politicians from both main political parties crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Australia.
Panic-stricken, the local police mobilised and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.
The officer and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor.

“Harry,” the officer yelled, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”
“Yep. Sure did,” the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor’s engine.
“Were there any survivors?”
“Nope. They’re all killed straight out,” the farmer answered. “I buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.”
“They’re all dead?” the officer asked.

“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. “They kept saying they weren’t…
“But you know how those mongrel bastards lie.”
Terrible, eh?
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
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#78
What Every Woman Should Know About Men

Everyone knows that testosterone, the so-called male hormone, is found
in both men and women.
What is not so well known is that men have an
overdose.

Until now it has been thought that the level of testosterone in men is
normal simply because they have it. But if you consider how abnormal
their BEHAVIOR is, then you are led to the hypothesis that almost all
men are suffering from TESTOSTERONE POISONING.

The symptoms are easy to spot. Suffers are reported to show an early
preference (while still in the crib) for geometric shapes. Later, they
become obsessed with machinery and objects to the exclusion of human
values. They have intense need to rank everything, and are obsessed
with size. (At some point in his life, nearly every male measures his
penis.)

It is well known that men don't look like other people. They have
chicken legs. This is symptomatic of the disease, as is the fact that
those men with the most aviary underpinnings will rank women according
to the shapeliness of THEIR legs.

The pathological violence of most men hardly needs to be mentioned.
They are responsible for more wars than any other leading sex.
Testosterone poisoning is particularly cruel because its sufferers
usually don't know they have it. In fact, when they are most under its
sway they believe that they are at their healthiest and most
attractive. They even give each other medals for exhibiting the most
advanced symptoms of the illness.

But there is hope.
Sufferers can change (even though it is harder than learning to walk
again). They must first realize, however, that they are sick. The
fact that this condition is inherited in the same way that dimples are
does not make it cute.

Eventually, of course, telethons and articles in the READER'S DIGEST
will dramatize the tragedy of testosterone poisoning. In the meantime
it is imperative for your friends and loved ones to become familiar
with the danger signs.

Have the men you know take this simple test for -

The Seven Warning Signs of Testosterone Poisoning

1. DO YOU HAVE AN INTENSE NEED TO WIN? When having sex, do you take
pride in always finishing before your partner? Do you always ask if
this time was "the best" - and gnaw on the bedpost if you get an
ambiguous answer?

2. DOES VIOLENCE PLAY A BIG PART IN YOUR LIFE? Before you answer,
count up how many hours you watched football, ice hockey, and
children's cartoons this year on television. When someone crosses
you, do you wish you could stuff his face full of your fist? Do you
ever poke people in your fantasies or throw them to and fro at all?
When someone cuts you off in traffic, do violent, angry curses come
bubbling out of your mouth before you know it? If so, you're in big
trouble, fella, and this is only question number two.

3. ARE YOU "THING" ORIENTED? Do you value the parts of a woman's
body more than the woman herself? Are you turned on by things that
even REMIND you of those parts? Have you ever fallen in love with a
really great doorknob?

4. DO YOU HAVE AN INTENSE NEED TO REDUCE EVERY DIFFICULT SITUATION
TO CHARTS AND FIGURES? If you were present at a riot, would you tend
to count the crowd? If your wife is despondent and that has left her
feeling helpless, do you take her temperature?

5. DO YOU TEND TO MEASURE THINGS THAT ARE REALLY QUALITATIVE? Are
you more impressed with how high a male ballet dancer can leap that
with what he does while he's up there? Are you more concerned with how
long you can spend in bed, and with how many orgasms you can have, than
you are with how you or your partner feels while you're there?

6. ARE YOU A LITTLE TOO MECHANICALLY MINDED? Would you like to
watch a sunset with a friend and feel at one with nature and each
other, or would you rather take apart a clock?

7. ARE YOU EASILY TRIGGERED INTO COMPETITION? When someone tries to
pass you on the highway, do you speed up a little? Do you find
yourself getting into contests of crushing beer cans -- with the beer
still in them?

If you've answered yes to three or fewer of the above questions, you
may be learning to deal with your condition. A man answering yes to
more than three is considered sick and not someone you'd want to have
around in a crisis -- such as raising children or growing old together. Anyone answering yes to all seven of the questions should
seek help in a high-wire act.


What To Do If You Suffer From Testosterone Poisoning


1. DON'T PANIC. Your first reaction may be that you are sicker than
anyone else -- or that you are the one man in the world able to fight
it off -- or, knowing that you are a sufferer, that you are the one man
ordained to lead others to health (such as by writing articles about
it). These are all symptoms of the disease. Just relax. First, sit
back and enjoy yourself. Then find out how to enjoy somebody else.

2. TRY TO FEEL SOMETHING. (Not with your hands, you oaf.) Look at a
baby and see if you can appreciate it. (Not how BIG it's getting, just
how nice she or he is.) See if you can get yourself to cry by some
means other than getting hit in the eye or losing a lot of money.

3. SEE IF YOU CAN LISTEN WHILE SOMEONE IS TALKING. Were you the one
talking? Perhaps you haven't got the idea yet.

4. PRACTICE THIS SENTENCE: "You know, I think you're right and I'm
wrong." (Hint: it is useful to know what the other person thinks
before you say this.)


For Women Only:
What To Do If You Are Living With a Sufferer


1. Remember that a little sympathy is a dangerous thing. The
sufferer will be inclined to interpret any concern for him as
appropriate submissiveness.

2. Let him know that you expect him to fight his way back to health
and behave like a normal person -- for his own sake, not for yours.

3. Only after he begins to get his condition under control and has
actually begun to enjoy life should you let him know that there is no
such thing as testosterone poisoning.

Alan Alda, 1975
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
Reply
#79
That was funny?
Reply
#80
voice activated lift, Scotland.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FFRoYhTJQQ


Dead politicians
A large jet plane carrying several politicians from both main political parties crashed on a farm in the middle of rural Australia.
Panic-stricken, the local police mobilised and descended on the farm in force. By the time they got there, the aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered the farm.

The officer and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no remains of anyone. They spotted the farmer ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing had happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor.

“Harry,” the officer yelled, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”
“Yep. Sure did,” the farmer mumbled unconcerned, cutting off the tractor’s engine.
“Were there any survivors?”
“Nope. They’re all killed straight out,” the farmer answered. “I buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.”

“They’re all dead?” the officer asked.
“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. “They kept saying they weren’t…
“But you know how those mongrel bastards lie.”
in order to be old & wise, you must first be young & stupid. (I'm still working on that.)
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