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Jokes and Funnies...
#15
An excellent collection - heres one from me:

Old man driving home late at night in his vintage car. Car putts out whilst going up hill. Old guy takes a few seconds to get his shit together, meanwhile car runs backward a few feet and bumps into a dirt bank and stops. Old guy goes to start car but it wont start. He gets out to see what the problem is and going to the back of the car sees the exhaust pipe has gouged into the little dirt bank a bit and seems full of dirt and appears to be strangling the car and probably the cause of it not starting.........So he goes and grabs the engine crank handle, (vintage car remember), he sticks the crank up the exhaust pipe and starts turning it to help clear the dirt out of the pipe. Just as he does this a Police car comes past. Two cops in the car seeing the man at the back of the car turning a crank handle in the exhaust pipe ! One says "Heres a live one Alfred" ! (You can guess what they were thinking).


And another:

Guy driving to work in Auckland in his ute. A cat runs out in front of him he hears a bump as he hits it. Looks in the mirror and see's a cat writhing in agony in the long grass on the roadside. Screeches to a halt, jumps out, grabs a shovel from the back of the ute and slams it down on the cat ONE, TWO, THREE to put it out of its misery. Gets back in the car, shakes his head sadly and drives on to work. An hour or so later the cops turn up at work. "Sir did you run over a cat on the way to work today?" .........."Ah yes officer". The man is wondering WTF the cops have to do with this......they say "Can we see your car please" , so he takes them to the car and there on the front bumper is a cat, dead, and stuck to the bumper. Man is now confused. The cops explain. It appears they got a call from a little old lady who was doing her gardening while her kitten was playing in the grass by the roadside. Apparently a man in a ute screeched to a halt beside her house and jumped out and killed her kitten with a shovel then jumped back into the car and drove off ! She got the number plate and called the cops to go get the cat murderer !

Now, just for some clarity I actually read this story which was reported in I think it was the Sunday News quite a few years ago - so it really did happen.
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Messages In This Thread
Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 07-11-2021, 12:14 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Praktica - 07-11-2021, 12:31 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 08-11-2021, 08:51 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 09-11-2021, 01:39 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 11-11-2021, 11:11 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 13-11-2021, 04:35 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by harm_less - 13-11-2021, 06:42 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by namtak - 13-11-2021, 08:36 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by harm_less - 14-11-2021, 01:31 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 15-11-2021, 06:12 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 16-11-2021, 10:23 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by namtak - 17-11-2021, 10:02 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 17-11-2021, 11:03 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 17-11-2021, 04:22 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Me+Me - 18-11-2021, 06:18 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by namtak - 18-11-2021, 02:47 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 19-11-2021, 10:46 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by jackford - 20-11-2021, 11:35 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 20-11-2021, 01:17 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by namtak - 21-11-2021, 09:20 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by jackford - 20-11-2021, 02:07 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 23-11-2021, 03:59 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 23-11-2021, 04:08 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 24-11-2021, 04:12 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 24-11-2021, 06:19 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 24-11-2021, 06:53 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 26-11-2021, 08:01 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 26-11-2021, 01:45 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 26-11-2021, 03:06 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 29-11-2021, 05:48 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 01-12-2021, 06:17 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 02-12-2021, 03:02 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by joe 90 - 03-12-2021, 12:17 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 03-12-2021, 11:04 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 03-12-2021, 03:14 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Rumpelteazer - 03-12-2021, 08:26 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 05-12-2021, 09:38 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 05-12-2021, 03:45 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 07-12-2021, 02:15 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 07-12-2021, 04:05 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 07-12-2021, 04:21 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by harm_less - 07-12-2021, 03:35 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 09-12-2021, 02:09 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Rumpelteazer - 10-12-2021, 08:26 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 12-12-2021, 06:30 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 17-12-2021, 03:19 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Oh_hunnihunni - 17-12-2021, 06:35 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 18-12-2021, 07:17 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 19-12-2021, 10:42 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 19-12-2021, 10:58 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Zurdo - 19-12-2021, 02:54 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 19-12-2021, 04:38 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 19-12-2021, 05:54 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Me+Me - 02-01-2022, 02:33 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by harm_less - 21-12-2021, 04:50 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 21-12-2021, 06:01 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 22-12-2021, 08:50 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 22-12-2021, 10:24 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 23-12-2021, 02:28 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 24-12-2021, 11:04 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Zurdo - 27-12-2021, 05:50 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Oldfellah - 27-12-2021, 06:58 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 02-01-2022, 02:26 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 02-01-2022, 03:21 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Me+Me - 02-01-2022, 03:31 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 02-01-2022, 04:05 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 02-01-2022, 05:47 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Oldfellah - 02-01-2022, 05:49 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by crafters_corner - 02-01-2022, 06:31 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Oldfellah - 02-01-2022, 07:21 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by jackford - 22-01-2022, 06:31 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 28-01-2022, 12:53 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 30-01-2022, 10:43 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by king1 - 17-02-2022, 06:47 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Oldfellah - 17-02-2022, 08:00 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 18-02-2022, 01:06 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by jackford - 18-02-2022, 07:55 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 28-02-2022, 06:27 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Me+Me - 28-02-2022, 06:36 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 28-03-2022, 02:00 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 03-08-2022, 11:37 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 23-08-2022, 03:36 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Foal30 - 25-08-2022, 12:14 AM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Lilith7 - 04-09-2022, 07:25 PM
RE: Jokes and Funnies... - by Oldfellah - 05-09-2022, 08:23 PM

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